IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Populations in developing nations are rapidly growing, people now believe that we should turn to genetically modified crops to increase the production of food grains. Discuss the Advantages and Disadvantages of this approach.

In today's world, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that we need to shift to genetically modified crops for
food
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production
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 in order to feed the growing population.
while
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this
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 trend has both positive and negative aspects, I strongly believe the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
This
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 essay will explore both sides and explain why benefits are more significant. One of the primary advantages of genetically modified
foods
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 is that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 contain nutritional value.
For example
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, studies in Japan show that with genetically modified
foods
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,
people
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 are able to beat the cancer.
This
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 is important for the health of the population.
Secondly
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,
single
Add an article
a single
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 place of land can be used for
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production
Add an article
the production
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 of
food
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 and different varieties of crops can be grown within a short period of time. These
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 can be utilised for
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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 of buildings. Another major benefit is that it can feed the huge population, which often leads to lesser dependency on foreign imports.
Thus
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, these factors make it evident that the positive effects are substantial. Despite the benefits, there are a few drawbacks associated with genetically modified
foods
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. One concern is that these are
lab grown
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lab-grown
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, which might impact the health of the
people
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.
For instance
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, these
foods
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 contain chemicals which
helps
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help
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 in
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production
Add an article
the production
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 of
food
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 faster
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can lead to various side effects.
However
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, these issues can be often addressed through
certificate
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a certificate
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 from
World
Correct article usage
the World
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 Health Organisation that it doesn't have any side effects.
Therefore
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 ,
although
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 disadvantages exist, they are relatively minor and manageable. In conclusion,
although
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 genetically modified
foods
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 may lead to some challenges, the
overall
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 advantages
such
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 as
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 nutritional value and faster
food
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production
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 that fulfil the needs of
people
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 clearly outweigh the drawbacks.
Hence
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 I believe
this
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 development is largely positive and should be encouraged.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your main points in each paragraph. Each paragraph should focus on one clear idea.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will help to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and sentence structure. For example, 'These place can be utilised...' should be 'These places can be utilized...'.
task achievement
You provided a clear position that advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You included both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced view on the topic.
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