IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

LETS WRITING 2 - OPINION Essay Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagr

There is no doubt
in
Change preposition
apply
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these days the responsibility of
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 to ensure
the
Correct article usage
apply
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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education
Use synonyms
 and arrange the
time
Use synonyms
.
there
Capitalize word
There
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is
Verb problem
apply
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a various types of
time
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
.
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain both points. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend more money to make
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new activity
new activities
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activities
Use synonyms
 to encourage the students to spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 in positive
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as football fields and swimming pools to make them learn
swimming
Change the verb form
to swim
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.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 the incentives by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 will encourage the students and their parents to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Competitions
Use synonyms
 in the schools or outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
. Instance football
competitions
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outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
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. And
education
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competitions
Use synonyms
 like mathematics
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
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 and athletics
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the
government
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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said the
activities
Use synonyms
 of responsibility the parents.
While
Linking Words
 the other people said
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 motivation from their parents will
improving
Change the form of the verb
improve
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themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. And help the pupils in the future . The experience will
improving
Change the verb form
improve
be improving
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 their skills.
the
Correct article usage
apply
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learning
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new skills will improve their ability for success. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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 the
competitions
Use synonyms
 will increase their performance in terms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 my perspective I agree with the people who say the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend money
for
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 for the pupils
due to
Linking Words
 they will
achieved
Change the verb form
achieve
show examples
 their goals in
education
Use synonyms
 and they will strive for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion. Also, try to present a clear thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your main points. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, making sure they are relevant to the topic.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for an opinion essay.
task achievement
You try to cover both sides of the argument, which shows understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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