IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

In the past,
people
Use synonyms
 were accustomed to cycling as a means to improve their physical health. …. Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 do not
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 for
this
Linking Words
 purpose. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
, and definite actions should be taken to promote the
use
Use synonyms
 of
bicycles
Use synonyms
. The primary reason is that
people
Use synonyms
 have become overly reliant on modern means of transportation,
such
Linking Words
 as cars and motorbikes. These means of transport are faster than
bicycles
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can go to work or school quickly.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in large cities, there are numerous cars, making it hazardous to ride a bicycle.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some roads lack
bike
Use synonyms
 lanes, which causes
people
Use synonyms
 to ride in those conditions. Another convincing reason is that
people
Use synonyms
 are busy and tired. Riding a
bike
Use synonyms
 requires energy, but a car is easy to
use
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 think that having a car looks better or more modern than using a bicycle. To help
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 more frequently, the government can build more
bike
Use synonyms
 lanes.
This
Linking Words
 will make it safer for
people
Use synonyms
 to ride.
Also
Linking Words
, schools and companies can tell
people
Use synonyms
 about the good things
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 biking,
such
Linking Words
 as it is being healthy and doesn’t
causing
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 pollution. The city can
also
Linking Words
 make
bike
Use synonyms
-sharing programs so
people
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
 a
bike
Use synonyms
 easily. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 less because of safety and speed concerns. But if we make biking safer and more popular, more
people
Use synonyms
 will choose to ride bikes.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic, but it could be improved by stating the reasons and solutions in a clearer way.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects to your thesis. Try to develop your points with more detail and examples.
task achievement
Adding a few more details or examples to support your arguments will help make them stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You identified key reasons for the decline in bicycle use, such as safety and convenience.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main ideas well and suggests a positive way forward.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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