You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it didn't work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the manager in your letter. Describe the problem with the equipment. Explain what happened when you called the shop. say what you would like the manger to do
Dear Sir,
My name is Khashayar Partovi and I am one of your customers. I am writing
this
letter to express my dissatisfaction with my purchase. I bought a brand new microwave from your shop last
Sunday but when I decided to use it and plugged into the electricity it did not work. Also
, I checked the wire but nothing seemed wrong.
Therefore
, I decided to call your shop to explain the situation. I tried to phone you several times. So, I finally
had a conversation with you and explained my problem to you. At the end
of our conversation, you assured me that the company’s technician would handle this
problem. However
, by passing about two weeks after our talk no action was taken regarding my issue.
In the end, I am asking you to replace my microwave with a new one if it is possible or I am demanding you refund my money.
I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours faithfully,
Khashayar PartoviSubmitted by khashayarpartovi on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its respective aspect (problem description, prior contact with the shop, desired resolution) for improved clarity and effectiveness.
task achievement
Expand the description of the equipment problem and your initial experience more vividly to better engage the reader and clarify the issue at hand.
task achievement
Consider incorporating a brief suggestion on how the shop could avoid similar issues in the future, showing proactive thinking and a constructive approach.
coherence cohesion
While your letter maintains a clear structure, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother with phrases that link the narrative flow for enhanced coherence.
coherence cohesion
To elevate your letter, use varied sentence structures and vocabulary. This will not only hold the reader's interest but also showcase your mastery of the language.