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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that children should be taught how to be good members of society at school. Others believe that parents should be the ones responsible for teaching their children to be good members of society Discuss both views and give your own opinion

A highly controversial issue today
whether
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is whether
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 to have students should be taught how to be good members of society at
school
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 or not. In
this
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 essay, I am going to examine
this
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 question from both points of view and
then
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 explain why I believe
children
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 should learn how to be good members
in
Change preposition
of
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 society. There are people who argue the benefits of
school
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 should teach
children
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 morals to become upstanding citizens
A
Correct article usage
apply
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outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing that when it comes to
learn
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learning
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 in
school
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 it enhances participation among groups and
this
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 can develop social interactions and nowadays most of the students do not know how to interact with others so it should be taught in
school
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 so
children
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 integrate into society in the future.
On the other hand
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, others believe that parents should teach their
children
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 morals because
its
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it's
it is
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 their role
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
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 teachers. They argue do not burden the teachers beyond their capacity they should do their work
teach
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and teach
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 them
school
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 subjects
such
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 as Math, Chemistry,
Physics
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and Physics
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. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
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, I feel that
that
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apply
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children
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 should be taught morals in
school
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 so they become socially responsible individuals.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain why your points are important.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas, like 'firstly', 'next', or 'finally'.
task achievement
Add some examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which is a good approach.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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