IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

The number of married couples around the world, who
prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
 to not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
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children
Use synonyms
,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 allows them to focus on their careers , there are several drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as not having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
support when they get old. One major advantage is they will have a lot of time for work or improvement.Since raising
children
Use synonyms
 is extremely time-consuming and difficult, especially when they are infants, It will significantly impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your efficiency
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the work. Or even, they may
forse
Correct your spelling
force
 to quit
due to
Linking Words
 responsibilities.
For example
Linking Words
, in Uzbekistan, if
famale
Correct your spelling
female
 workers are got pregnant, they will have to get a
vocation
Correct your spelling
vacation
show examples
 for a long period. and those times they will struggle with parenting
instead
Linking Words
 of working and making progress on the job.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Children
Use synonyms
 will take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 parents at their older age. When the time
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
, everyone will
loose
Replace the word
lose
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 their
straingh
Correct your spelling
strength
straight
 to take care
Change preposition
of themselfs
show examples
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
. Because of
this
Linking Words
, they will need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
support both
emotionaly
Correct your spelling
emotionally
 and physically.
For instance
Linking Words
, currently, Japan is suffering from a
decrasing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
birth rate. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childless families considerably increased. Because most of those families are not capable of
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 without someone's care,
this
Linking Words
 problem
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 one of the main
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
 of the nation. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 raising
children
Use synonyms
 is challenging, if you endure difficulties, they will look after you when they
are grow
Change the verb form
are growing
are grown
show examples
 up.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that you have a clear structure in each paragraph. Every paragraph should have one main idea that is developed. This helps the reader follow your argument easily.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences are not clear and have grammatical errors, making it hard for the reader to understand your points.
task achievement
You have introduced the topic well and addressed both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Your essay shows some understanding of the topic and engages with important issues such as career focus and support in old age.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • childfree
  • personal freedom
  • financial stress
  • raising children
  • nurturing the relationship
  • societal pressure
  • stigma
  • support network
  • companionship
  • legacy
  • regret
  • intimate bond
  • norm
  • invest in experiences
  • close-knit
What to do next:
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