IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There exists a widely-held perspective that
individualsshould
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individuals should
 be free
in saving
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to save
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 the entire
of
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apply
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salary and should not
enforce
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be forced
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 to bear the tax, encompassing the incredible section of salary and preventing from
nest
Add an article
a nest
show examples
 egg.
while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
Use synonyms
 is an obligation in association with our country, it paves the path for promoting amenities in any society. Proponents of the levy cite various rational reasons. To embark, the government with the acquired budget mitigate infrastructural challenges like
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 schools in less privileged communities ,which provides opportunities to the one's who live  under the line of poverty which
contribute
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contributes
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 to the
rice
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rise
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in
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apply
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body's
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body
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 academic level, which enables them to compete for
entrancing
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entrance
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 to elite universities with other candidates from which amount of illiteracy and the rate of crime will reduce. As an example , in Iran, the administration
spended
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spent
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money
Use synonyms
 to structure hospitals, libraries and schools in disadvantaged areas and
permited
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permitted
permit
 individuals to opt for where the
money
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is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 invested.
Thus
Linking Words
, as a financial source not only contributes to solving infrastructural challenges but
also
Linking Words
 declines inequality in communication.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , mismanagement linked to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 can reduce the importance of the subject, leading to discontent among people like the excessive growth of
money
Use synonyms
 without any rational reason, threatening the survival of businesses and leading to organisations far away from their main goal. As an example, in Iran,
drugstories
Correct your spelling
drugstores
drug stories
 are confronted with new policies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
connected with the budget every year, which
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
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 career tensions and
got
Wrong verb form
gets
show examples
 away pharmacist from their main duty -drug consultation- ,which
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
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 the quality of health services.
Therefore
Linking Words
, reasonable policies coincided with the levy act as an urgent point, declining negative forwards which led to pessimism about that. In conclusion, 
while
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 tax acts
a
Change preposition
as a
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crucial monetary source which supports
government
Add an article
the government
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 in charging a nation,
facilitating
Correct word choice
and facilitating
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 constructive projects that need
money
Use synonyms
, it needs
sterategic
Correct your spelling
strategic
 plans , leading to equality and advancement in any society.

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coherence and cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction that outlines your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and relates back to your main argument.
task achievement
Use clearer examples to support your points, ensuring they directly relate to the argument being made.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling for clarity and to avoid confusion.
task achievement
Create a more concise conclusion that summarizes your main ideas without introducing new concepts.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Your points about the importance of tax for society are clear and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
What to do next:
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