Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals believe that

subjects

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

, art and drama, crucial as other

school

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

, especially

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

primary

school

Use synonyms

. I

compleatly

Correct your spelling

completely

agree with

this

Linking Words

statement, as they will improve their creativity and may discover their hidden

talant

Correct your spelling

talent

talents

from

their

Change the word

show examples

early

age

Use synonyms

. First and foremost, Drawing

picture

Fix the agreement mistake

pictures

show examples

or playing

music

Use synonyms

has a positive impact on your creativity.

This

Linking Words

is because becoming a either good painter or musician requires

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

excelent

Correct your spelling

excellent

creativity and you will improve

this

Linking Words

skill through exercises in lessons.

For example

Linking Words

, the well-known painter from Uzbekistan, who is

famouse

Correct your spelling

famous

for his creative works, Muhammad Shokirov,

tells

Verb problem

says

show examples

that one of the main reasons why he is so

skillfull

Correct your spelling

skilful

skillfully

was art lessons in his primary

school

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

those kind

Change the determiner

that kind

those kinds

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

can identify gifted children and provide an opportunity to develop

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

from

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age

Use synonyms

in addition

Linking Words

Traing

Correct your spelling

Training

from

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age

Use synonyms

may give them

Change the article

the

show examples

advantage to succeed

those

Change preposition

in those

show examples

feilds

Correct your spelling

fields

For instance

Linking Words

, Pop legend, Michael Jackson discovered his talent in

music

Use synonyms

from

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age

Use synonyms

, thanks to the

music

Use synonyms

classes in his

school

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, he got an opportunity to

sharp

Replace the word

sharpen

show examples

his skills in

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

classes. Afterwards, he participated

several

Change preposition

in several

show examples

compititions

Correct your spelling

competitions

competition

and claimed

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

victory every time and before he

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

15, he was already

famous

Correct article usage

a famous

show examples

musican

Correct your spelling

musician

musicians

. In conclusion, Art,

dramma

Correct your spelling

drama

, and

music

Use synonyms

classes

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

beneficial to

children'

Change noun form

children's

show examples

certain

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

may discover their potential talents.

Therefore

Linking Words

, we have to admit that they are as important as other

subjects

Use synonyms

BahromMon May 26 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction is a bit unclear. Try to restate the question more clearly and make your position clear from the start.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to connect your ideas better. Use linking words to help the reader follow your thoughts.

grammar and vocabulary

Pay attention to grammar and spelling. For example, 'completely' instead of 'compleatly' and 'talent' instead of 'talant'. Fixing these will improve your overall writing quality.

task achievement

You have a strong opinion and provided good examples to support your points.

task achievement

Your points about how art helps creativity and talent discovery are very relevant and clear.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

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Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g.:goods, service, news,...) Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Interview is a common way used by companies to choose someone for employment. Some people say that it isnot a reliable method for evaluating potential employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measure should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?