IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems and what measures can be taken to solve this problem.

It is argued that urban migration can impact both cities and rural
areas
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 negatively. The lack
housing
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of housing
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 and infrastructure is the main concern in the urban
areas
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,
while
Linking Words
 food security places and
enourmes
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enormous
 threat to
people
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 in rural
areas
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, an influx of
people
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 moving to cities for jobs, better healthcare and schooling, leaves the municipality with a great amount of housing shortages and much strain on infrastructure. it is simply impossible for the government and
contraters
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contractors
 to build houses faster than
people
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 are moving into cities, resulting in
alot
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a lot
 of
people
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to be
Change the verb form
being
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 squashed into an area where the infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as water and sewage cannot hold the pressure.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, rural
areas
Use synonyms

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand the main points better.
relevant specific examples
Try to add more specific examples to support your main ideas. This will help make your points stronger.
logical structure
Organize your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be connected to the main topic.
content
You have identified important problems related to urban migration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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