IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018 . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018 . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .
The
line
Use synonyms
 graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the changes between the years from 2011 to 2018. Which tells the percentage of the number of shops newly open and
shopes
Correct your spelling
shoppes
shops
 which shut down in that period of time
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the provided data, it can be
observerd
Correct your spelling
observed
 that there are
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 changes over the year in
Add an article
a unit
the unit
show examples
unit
Fix the agreement mistake
units
show examples
 of
shopes
Correct your spelling
shoppes
shops
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it indicates that there is
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
show examples
 decrease in opening new shopes. Respectively,
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly
Change the word
slight
show examples
 decline is
also
Linking Words
 observed in
Correct article usage
the closures
show examples
closures
Change the noun form
closure
show examples
line
Use synonyms
. To start with, In 2011, a huge
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
 can be seen in
Correct article usage
the openning
show examples
openning
Correct your spelling
opening
 which
pump
Correct subject-verb agreement
pumps
show examples
 down from below 9000 to 4000.
Aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
 again it slightly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 and hit
second
Correct pronoun usage
its second
show examples
 highest peak little above
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
6000,
ater
Correct your spelling
after
 that
line
Use synonyms
 end up
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 lowest point 3000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
closures
Correct article usage
the closures
show examples
line
Use synonyms
 graph
also
Linking Words
behave
Correct subject-verb agreement
behaves
show examples
 kind of same
starts
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 from below 7000 and once it meets with the
Correct your spelling
opening
openning
Correct your spelling
opening
line
Use synonyms
 at slightly above 6000, from there sharpest decrease faces to under 1000,
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
behave
Correct subject-verb agreement
behaves
show examples
inversly
Correct your spelling
inversely
 and
stop
Correct subject-verb agreement
stops
show examples
 at its final peak lesser up 5000

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words line with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: