IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should spend more money on railways than on roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is believed that the
government
Use synonyms
 should focus on maintaining and upgrading
Use synonyms
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
 rather than roads. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, financially roadway is much more expensive than using
trains
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is much safer and
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
 for
government
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 to rely on
trains
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. In greater detail,
user's
Change noun form
users
show examples
 of
railway
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transport
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 will save a lot of money when using
this
Linking Words
 form of travelling. Expenses
such
Linking Words
 as fuel, tyres and everyday wear and tear
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 a big portion of these user's money,
whereas
Linking Words
 with a train it is much less
due to
Linking Words
 the amount of paying consumers on the train.
For example
Linking Words
, a study done by the University of Cape Town,
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 found that making use of public forms of
transport
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,
such
Linking Words
 as
trains
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,
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 up to 40% of
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
show examples
 monthly expenses.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the death rate on roads
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 much
higer
Correct your spelling
higher
 than on
railway
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.
Trains
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 controlled by operators and systems
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 place for less human error causing
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 accidents. With thousands of cars on the
road
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, people tend to make mistakes causing major collisions resulting in death. In 2023
railway
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 deaths stood at a mere 10
while
Linking Words
road
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 casualties ended at
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 high of 1223 deaths, in Cape Town South Africa.
Therefore
Linking Words
, costing
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 more money in the
Road
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 Accident Fund, which is
payeble
Correct your spelling
payable
 to
road
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 users. In conclusion, factors
such
Linking Words
 as safety and the financial implications of
road
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transport
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the main reason why local
Use synonyms
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 should rather focus on improving
railway
Use synonyms
 systems as the future
transport
Use synonyms
 method.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. Try to make it more specific.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas better, like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid spelling mistakes like 'higer' (higher) and 'payeble' (payable). Proofread your work for such errors.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your points, especially the statistics on railway deaths vs road deaths.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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