IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the number of landline telephones per 1000 people in different countries over a five-year period. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below

The diagram below shows the number of landline telephones per 1000 people in different countries over a five-year period. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below
The bar chart illustrates the number of
landline
Use synonyms
 telephones per 1,000 people in five different countries—Singapore, Brunei Darussalam, Vietnam, Thailand, and the Philippines—over a five-year period from 2000 to 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, all countries demonstrated either growth or stability in
landline
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 over the given period, though the trends varied significantly in pace and consistency. Singapore consistently had the highest number of
landline
Use synonyms
 users,
while
Linking Words
 Vietnam showed the most notable growth despite starting from a low base. In detail, Singapore maintained the highest level of
landline
Use synonyms
 penetration throughout the period, with figures remaining steady at around 450 landlines per 1,000 individuals.
This
Linking Words
 suggests a mature telecommunications infrastructure that had already reached saturation before 2000. Brunei Darussalam started with approximately 249 users per 1,000 in 2000, experienced a minor increase to 250 in 2002, and
then
Linking Words
 saw a slight decline to about 248 in 2004. Despite
this
Linking Words
 fluctuation,
landline
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in Brunei remained relatively stable across the years. Vietnam,
in contrast
Linking Words
, had the lowest initial figure, with fewer than 50 landlines per 1,000 people in 2000.
However
Linking Words
, it experienced steady growth, reaching close to 50 by 2004.
While
Linking Words
 the numbers remained low compared to other nations, the upward trend indicates gradual development in infrastructure. In Thailand,
landline
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 started at around 98 per 1,000 people in 2000, rising modestly to approximately 100 in 2002.
However
Linking Words
, data for 2004 appears inconsistent or unavailable, making it difficult to determine the
overall
Linking Words
 trend in the final year. The Philippines began with a relatively high figure of nearly 100 landlines per 1,000 individuals in 2000, but
this
Linking Words
 figure declined slightly to around 97 in 2002 and
further
Linking Words
 to 96 in 2004. Despite the minor drop, the country maintained one of the highest levels of
landline
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 among the five nations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall, while".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words landline, usage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: