IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You have noticed a problem with the heating system in your rented apartment. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter: Describe the problem Say how it is affecting your daily life Ask for it to be fixed as soon as possible

Dear Sir, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to express my concern about the problems related to the heating system of my apartment. As you are already aware, there is winter season going on and
apartment's
Correct article usage
the apartment's
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 heating system is not working effectively. The one major issue is
,
Correct word choice
that, heating
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heating
Add an article
the heating
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 system gets tripped after bringing the room temperature to 2 or 3 degrees, which is still
cold
Rephrase
as cold
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 as
per
Change preposition
in
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 the living room. It affects my daily life too in many ways. At
first,
Linking Words
I
am
Wrong verb form
was
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 not able to take an adequate amount of rest as required by my body after the hectic work schedule
due to
Linking Words
 the cold inside the house.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I could not take a bath in the early mornings before going to work sometimes which affects my profile as a valuable employee of the company. I request that you, have a closer look at
this
Linking Words
 issue and get it fixed as soon as possible. Sincerely, Mohit

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check your grammar and sentence structure for better clarity.
task achievement
Add more details about how the cold affects your daily life for a complete response.
positive
Your letter has a polite tone and appropriate greeting and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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