It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

Nowadays , there is a variety of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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where
people
Use synonyms
can live . There has been an
argue
Replace the word
argument
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about where is better to live , some
people
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think the
city
Use synonyms
is the best place to live in . Meanwhile , others thought rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
were
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much better . In my opinion , I completely believe that the
city
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is the choice number
one
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for me . To have
clear
Add an article
a clear
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view of
this
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argue
Replace the word
argument
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, both perspectives will be discussed . On the
one
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hand , some
people
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prefer to live in the countryside for
Correct article usage
a couples
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couples
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couple
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reasons
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of reasons
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. First , they are avoiding any kind of pollution .
In other words
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,
this
Linking Words
side of the country has less pollution and car congestion .
Moreover
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, research has shown that the air pollution in the
city
Use synonyms
is triple that in the rural areas .
Furthermore
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,
one
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reason for
this
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is
people
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attending
Verb problem
prefer
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to live in a quiet place , they
beliefs
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believe
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that it is a predominantly thing to have
calm
Correct article usage
a calm
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space in their life .
On the other hand
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, the primary factor behind why
people
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choose
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city
Correct article usage
the city
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is that the
city
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offers more
jobs
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job
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opportunities and
better
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a better
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salary .
For example
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, big companies are looking for more employees to join their staff with
well paid
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well-paid
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occupation
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occupations
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.
In addition
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, public services
plays
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play
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a crucial role,
such
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as
,
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apply
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education , health care and security are much better in the
city
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.
Lastly
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, cities are more secure than other places , and
that is
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a result of modern technology.
To sum up
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,
people
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have the choice to live
where ever
Correct your spelling
wherever
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they want based on their needs , and no
one
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can force them to leave their homes .If the choice refers to me ,
i
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I
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will choose to live in the
city
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction is a bit unclear. Try to restate the question in simpler terms and state your opinion clearly. For example, say 'Some people think cities are better, while others prefer the countryside. I think cities are better.'
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and related details. This helps the reader follow your thoughts more easily. For example, each reason for city living should have its own clear paragraph.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your ideas. Instead of saying 'big companies,' name a few or explain what types of jobs are available. This adds weight to your points.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument effectively, which shows you understand the task well.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is clear and summarizes your points nicely, which is a good way to finish the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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