In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

can live for more years compared to their ancestors. A group of

people

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consider

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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a big problem for societies,

while

Linking Words

others believe it could benefit the communities in some cases. In

this

Linking Words

essay, the demerits in terms of the cost and productivity, and merits in terms of having a happier family and a safer society will be explored. One of the main disadvantages of an old population is financial problems. The elderly

peopel

Correct your spelling

people

are at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

risk of many diseases and their complications. It is highly likely that they become admitted to hospitals

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

several times

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a year and

also

Linking Words

take plenty of expensive medications. In many countries, governments are in charge

for

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show examples

most of these expenses and

this

Linking Words

will put a huge amount of pressure on them. Another disadvantage is low productivity in the country. The

Change the word

apply

show examples

older is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

country's population, the less will be its manpower for various job opportunities. Unlike the younger individuals, the old ones spend most of their time at their house and rest. They

have

Add a missing verb

do have

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not enough energy to work in factories or other facilities and be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productive

asset

Fix the agreement mistake

assets

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for their community. They are more of a consumer than a producer so it is obvious that in

this

Linking Words

society there will be a shortage of manpower in important aspects.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, a group of

people

Use synonyms

believe that a high number of older

people

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in a country could be positive. The first

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

is having a happy family. The elderly are an important part of each family. As

Correct your spelling

grandparents

grandparetns

Add a comma

grandparetns,

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they can lead their children towards making better decisions in their life and

also

Linking Words

take care of their grandchildren. In these families, because of elderly parents arguments will be less frequent and the risk of divorce might be

also

Linking Words

fewer.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

families will have fewer problems and will be happier. Another advantage is having a safer community in these societies. Younger

people

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have plenty of energy and sometimes attitude to do unsafe social

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and even commit criminal activities. Unlike them, because the older individuals are calm by nature, not only they will not involve themselves in

such

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activities, but

also

Linking Words

recommend the youngsters to have safer

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and even sometimes stop them.

As a result

Linking Words

, the rate of unsafe activities in the communities will decline. In conclusion, some

people

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believe older individuals have plenty of problems for the governments and other

people

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others suggest that their

exsistence

Correct your spelling

existence

is more positive than negative.

Although

Linking Words

there are some disadvantages like the high cost and low manpower for jobs, their benefits like having a happier family and a safe society are more important.

m.lotfipour92Wed May 28 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Each point should be easy to follow.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Check spelling and grammar errors, as they can distract the reader. For example, 'peopel' should be 'people'.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This helps the reader understand your flow of thoughts.

task achievement

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.

task achievement

You presented both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

446 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Your opinion

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Unemployment is one of the most serious problem facing developed nations today. What are thee advantages and disadvantages of reducing the working week to thirty-fie hours?

Research has shown that spending much less time in workplace can reduce the use of energy. Thus, some companies close for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a persons culture and character from their choice of clothes do you agree or disagree?

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?