IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the past people liked to store knowledge in books. However, in the present, we prefer to store knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweight the disantages?

There has been a notable change in the storage of
information
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 as compared to ancient times. Previously, people were using
books
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 but now they are preferring technology. There are various arguments on its advantages and disadvantages.
However
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, I believe that the merits outweigh the demerits. The first benefit of storing
information
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 on the internet is accessibility.
Books
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 require space, shelves and management to protect them for longer periods of time meanwhile it is different for digital devices. Everything is stored on e-websites and with a click users can read thousands and hundreds of years of readables without any difficulty.
Thus
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, it is easier to manage data with technology than with
books
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.
Secondly
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, the internet allows people to get updated, edited and latest news which is not possible in the case of papers. It is hard to change the printable material once it is published and expanded to the market.
Therefore
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, electronic mode is best these days
due to
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 the availability of the latest material. Despite these merits, there are a few demerits too.
Such
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 as misinformation. It is hard to trust the credibility of the content without the writer's name. There are various tools which can be used to re-write or edit the text written by someone else. That's why, another verification is recommended before spreading or trusting sentences.
For instance
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, sensitive
information
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 related to religion can lead to strikes, without verification. In Conclusion, devices became primary sources of
information
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 and
books
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 became secondary because with technology it is easy to access
also
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 users can find updates in a timely manner. There are a few negative sides too like the question of reliability. But the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main point in the introduction. A strong thesis statement helps guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more clearly by using linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will help make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You clearly mentioned both advantages and disadvantages of storing knowledge on the internet.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to read and understand overall.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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