Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Whether or not the authorities should have access to citizens' personal
information
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is controversial
while
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some said
that
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apply
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that the state should for safety reasons, others argued the opposite. The writer of
this
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essay
agree
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agrees
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with the latter idea because of personal privacy and unexploitable despite
decreased
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the decreased
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crime
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rate. Not everyone wants the government to look at their personal
information
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which can be against the values of a free and private society.
As a result
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, letting people control what they have and keeping their personal
information
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to themselves
give
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gives
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them a sense of comfort because they are the only
one
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ones
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who knows
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knows
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know
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.
To take
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Take
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Japan
for example
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where its people are free to enter their personal
details
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to create a new account
to
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on
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a website or an authorized app, yet their economy grows significantly because the Japanese do not have to worry about the state taking their house numbers or names.
On the other hand
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, some
argued
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argue
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that personal
details
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should be under control by the authorities.
This
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is understandable because of the fact that the state can
be benefited
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benefit
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from catching criminals as they know where each citizen
are
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is
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and what they look like which might make the identification process easier.
As a result
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, publicizing
this
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can be a warning to
who
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those who
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have the intention of committing
crime
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which can
overall
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decrease the
crime
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rate by quite an amount.
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However
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However,
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this
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means more will refuse to give out their personal
details
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so as to not get caught and because of uncomfortable feelings. Another aspect that needs consideration is how hard it is for hackers and criminals to exploit. Keeping all
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details
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the details
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of every single citizen in one place might not be ideal because if the system gets
exploit
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exploited
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, the authorities are at risk of letting scammers
to
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apply
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freely use
this
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to erase their identity or to know everyone's phone numbers, bank
details
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and more.
However
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, keeping personal
information
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to oneself
eliminate
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eliminates
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the potential of losing it as should the account
details
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get exposed, only one individual
get
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would be
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affected and not
risking
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risk
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millions.
Thus
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, the writer of
this
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essay strongly
believe
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believes
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that personal
details
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can not be shared
to
Change preposition
with
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the government under any circumstances because of privacy and exploitation prevention in spite of
reduced
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the reduced
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crime
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rate.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your main ideas. Each point should be easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph so that readers know what to expect.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your arguments, which will strengthen your points.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which shows your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs cover different points, which helps organize your thoughts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • access
  • privacy
  • communication data
  • public safety
  • terrorist activities
  • serious crimes
  • monitoring
  • tracked
  • unauthorized access
  • fundamental human right
  • abuse of power
  • infringement
  • trust in governmental institutions
  • surveillance capabilities
  • government power
  • overreach
  • strict regulations
  • accountability measures
  • individual rights
  • potential misuse
  • swift interventions
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