IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past people liked to store knowledge in books. However, in the present, we prefer to store knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweight the disantages?

There has been a notable change in the storage of data as compared to the past. Previously, people were using
books
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, but now with the development of technology, they prefer the
Internet
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. There are various arguments on its advantages and disadvantages.
However
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, I believe that
,
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apply
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benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 outweigh the drawbacks. The first benefit of storing
information
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 on the
internet
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 is accessibility.
Books
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 require space for
storing
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storage
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 on the shelves and require protection for the long term. Meanwhile, it is different in the digital area. Everything is stored on websites, and with one click, individuals can
reach
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access
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 thousands of
information
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 quickly without any difficulty.
Thus
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, it is easier to manage data with technology than the traditional way, which is a book.
Secondly
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, the
internet
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 allows people to get updated on the latest news, which is not possible in the case of papers. It is hard to change the printable material once it is published.
Therefore
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, through electronic way is the best
due to
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 the availability of the newest and latest updates. Despite the advantages, there are a few negative consequences too.
Such
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 as misinformation and inaccuracy. As the
internet
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 became more accessible to everyone,
information
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 sharing
also
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 started to increase,
thus
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 making wrong data
is
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apply
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more likely to occur. To give a more specific example, there are some websites
that
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where
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 every person could enter and rewrite any words or sentences
according to
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 their opinions. Unfortunately, controlling
this
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 situation is almost impossible. So, people could have
learn
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learned
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 wrong
information
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 in
this
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 way.
However
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, in
books
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, users can't change any kind of
information
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 whenever they want. So it can be safer to get pieces of
information
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 by reading
books
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. In conclusion, devices become primary sources of
information
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, yet
books
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became
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have become
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 secondary because of the easier
acsess
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access
 and newer updates
could
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that could
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 be reached better through
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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. There are a few negative sides in terms of reliability. But the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly support your main points with specific examples and details. This can help to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between your ideas to help the reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
When discussing disadvantages, explain them in more detail to show deeper understanding.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and it is stated in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps with the flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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