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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph shows average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line given illustrates the number of consumers on cell mobile and residential mobile services per
year
Use synonyms
 over 9-
year
Use synonyms
 periods. The unit is measured in dollars . From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the figure for cell phones
a
Correct article usage
apply
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significantly increased sharply throughout of period.
whereas
Linking Words
, the number of residential services has decreased dramatically in general trends.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the cell phone service climbed from 200 $ to 300 % during one
year
Use synonyms
 from 2001s to 2002 , by followed the next
year
Use synonyms
 it remained stable until 2003.
Linking Words
Subsequently
Add a comma
Subsequently,
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 it rocketed dramatically over 5
year
Use synonyms
 period from 2003 to 2007.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 it takes over residential phones. After that ,in 2010 , there saw the highest point recorded at just under 800 dollars. In terms of residential phone services, it was approximately 700 $ in 2001 , that was the highest point in the chart ,
However
Linking Words
 , there was declined gradually till 2006 , after which , it
Saw
Verb problem
Decreased
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 quickly.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average
  • expenditure
  • cell phone
  • residential phone
  • services
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • spending
  • surpassed
  • gap
  • preferences
  • shift
  • changes
  • technology
  • usage
  • patterns
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