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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The
university
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 provides a wider range of perspectives for
both
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students
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 and graduates for their future careers. There are some debates over whether the
university
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's main aim is to support its
students
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 to get a better
job
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 after graduation,
while
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 others think that there are many more crucial positive views in terms of
both
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 individual characteristics and
for
Change preposition
apply
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society. On the one hand, degrees play a ladder of career development for most individuals. Each step helps to create new opportunities for their business career.
For instance
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, graduating from any field in
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university
Correct article usage
a university
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 in Turkey, where there are inadequate
University
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 graduates, increases the chance of working for a strong company with a great position in the
job
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 area.
Therefore
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,
getting
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to get
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 better
job
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 opportunities
for
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apply
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students
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 must
have to
Verb problem
apply
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go through the
university
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 phase.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 universities help to form greater
job
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 chances for
students
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, there are more notable perspectives to include,
such
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 as character development and being a better human being for society.
For example
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, being a
university
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 student helps to create a wider social networking site,
while
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 administering social clubs results creating to form teamwork and empathy features.
Moreover
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, these kinds of abilities are an essential part
for
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of
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 maintaining a good future plan in every kind of sector, including business. In conclusion, Universities provide opportunities for graduates in many fields, including
both
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job
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 studies and characteristics of social aspects.
It is clear that
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 the idea of
both
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 views is accurate and has great benefits,
also
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 I think that the
University
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 is a place
that
Correct word choice
where
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 people have a chance to develop
such
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 skills.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good overall structure, but make sure each paragraph clearly focuses on one main idea. This will help readers follow your thoughts more easily.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and show deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The conclusion should summarize your main points clearly. It would be helpful to restate your opinion more strongly to reinforce your view.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is a good approach for this type of essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your sentences are clear and mostly easy to understand, which is important for effective communication.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • employability
  • specialized knowledge
  • lifetime earnings
  • intellectual curiosity
  • personal growth
  • transferable skills
  • social mobility
  • cultural understanding
  • societal advancement
  • global challenges
  • diverse perspectives
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