IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter •Explain why you want to voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. •Describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful. •Give details of when you would be available for work.

Dear Sir , I am writing to express my interest
to
Change preposition
in
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 a part-time job which is advertised in the local newspaper. I would love to assist you in the museum as
voluntary
Add an article
a voluntary
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 candidate. Since I was a kid , I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
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 keen to know about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ancient history
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is why my study
consists
Verb problem
have
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 in Bachelor's of
archeology
Capitalize word
Archeology
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 from the University of Cambridge. I
also
Linking Words
 have one year of experience in the same field and working in the museum would be an honor for me
thus
Linking Words
 I will learn a lot more which enhance my skills . I have a great knowledge
how
Change preposition
of how
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 to handle fragile ancient items with care .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 I am good at dealing with the visitor who will come to visit the museum
hence
Linking Words
 I can be a tour guide and never let them get bored. I am available on the weekend from 9am to 5pm because I am working on weekends with an art and craft firm . I hope you will consider me for
this
Linking Words
 voluntary work and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully Sam

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check punctuation and spacing. For example, 'Dear Sir ,' should be 'Dear Sir,' with no space before the comma.
task achievement
Include a subject line to give a clear idea of your letter's purpose.
coherence and cohesion
Try to have one main idea in each paragraph to make your writing clearer.
task achievement
Use a more polite closing, such as 'Yours sincerely,' instead of 'Yours faithfully' as you have addressed the director.
task achievement
You clearly explained your interest in the museum and your background in archaeology.
task achievement
You mentioned relevant skills that would be useful for the museum work, like handling fragile items and being a tour guide.
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