IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Whether or not outsoucing jobs have be he best way for currently businesses

Whether or not outsourcing jobs have
be
Change the verb form
been
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 the best way for current businesses.
While
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 it can lead to the benefits of saving labour costs, the concerns about losing
control
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 communication issues outweigh
this
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 minor advantage. One of the potential drawbacks of outsourcing occupations is the loss of
control
Use synonyms
. Simply put, having worked with a third party either domestically or internationally can lead the company to be
over reliant
Add a hyphen
over-reliant
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 on others, which causes the dependable tendency, thereby making a hard way to fully
control
Use synonyms
 the manufacturing process.
For example
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, if there are any tackles in each outsourcing part, it can deter the consequence of all productivity processes, needless to say, the company would not meet their commodity quotas.
Hence
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, the more outsourcing parts, the more difficult in controlling the business process. What makes
this
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 particularly disadvantageous is the communication issues.
Due to
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 the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 most
the
Correct article usage
apply
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outsourcing employers come from many different countries, yet synonymous with, they run a higher risk of living in different
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
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 and times,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can lead them not to work together and prevent them from sharing ideas sooner. To explain
further
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, outsourcing will face
misunderstand
Wrong verb form
misunderstood
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 conditions, in which different languages are a precondition.
Thus
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, if outsourcing employers worked without any sense of sympathy and misunderstood others, the efficiency would not live up to the prediction of companies.
On the other hand
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, there is a belief that
,
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apply
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adapting
Correct your spelling
adopting
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 outsourcing jobs can save the labour cost. It would be true as
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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worker from
low tax
Add a hyphen
low-tax
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 countries
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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from reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 their labour rent cost, indeed,
such
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 as
developing
Change preposition
in developing
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 countries, especially,
Asian
Correct article usage
the Asian
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 market where the cost
for
Change preposition
of
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 renting high-level
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 is quietly lower.
However
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 , these benefits can be limited in current conditions, there are many staff
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
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 working for government businesses where they
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 not merely have a high salary but
also
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 they will gain a vast amount of domestic self-benefits.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 the average salary costs have been increasing in over the world ,
detering
Correct your spelling
deterring
 international companies from saving
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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. In conclusion,
whereas
Linking Words
 outsourcing jobs can help many companies save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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money
foe
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 paying lower
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 costs, there is no doubt that the drawbacks not only from losing
control
Use synonyms
 in manufacturing but
also
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 from the community's obstacles outweigh
this
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 advantage.

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task achievement
Your essay has good ideas, but you need to make them clearer. Try to explain your points more simply. Use examples to help your reader understand your thoughts better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Start with a topic sentence and ensure that all the sentences in the paragraph support that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Watch your grammar and spelling. There are some mistakes that make it hard to read. Try to check your work before you finish.
task achievement
You present a clear argument against outsourcing, which is a strong point for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Some of your points about control and communication are very important and meaningful.
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