IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organizations. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed

In recent decades, A large number of the community
choose
Wrong verb form
have chosen
show examples
 to be self-employed, rather than to work under the firm.
And
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 case will discuss
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the disadvantages. A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 in many countries is better to choose to be self-employed because they can enjoy and relax without the rules of course, and
then
Linking Words
 there is no
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
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 bother them.
For instance
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 as
open
Replace the word
opening
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 market especially for local foods and they can
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 to a large number of society in the village or the
mertopolis
Correct your spelling
metropolis
.
Besides
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 can gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
merit from their commercial activity.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gain the disadvantages of being self-employed, because it many competition nowadays.
That is
Linking Words
 why, a variety of
bussinessman
Correct your spelling
businessman
businessmen
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
loss,
due to
Linking Words
 the amount of competition. In conclusion,
become to be
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
self-employeed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
 exctually is good if they manage their
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 and promotion on social media like Marketplace on Facebook, Instagram and other
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
, and I believe more and more
people
Use synonyms
 will be
intresting
Correct your spelling
interested
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
iotems
Correct your spelling
items
 for sale.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 modern era must
smart
Add a missing verb
be smart
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 compete with others.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your main points. Each point should be easy to understand and well-developed.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your essay better. Use clear paragraphs for different ideas and improve the flow between sentences.
general
Check your spelling and grammar. Correct any mistakes so that your meaning is clear.
task achievement
You provided some valid reasons for being self-employed and mentioned competition as a disadvantage, which shows understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion wraps up your ideas, which is good for the overall structure of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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