In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It has been observed that diverse nations prefer to purchase a house
instead
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of paying the rent each month.
This
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is because they want to secure a home for their children, which is
povital
Correct your spelling
vital
pivotal
.
Moreover
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, it is firmly a positive decision
as well as
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it is a big investment.
To begin
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with, many people have been buying homes
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due
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to guarantee a place for their kids to live in.
Therefore
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, owning a house is more beneficial than renting one. When a father dies, his sons inherit
this
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roof, which is vital for them to be safe and relaxed.
For instance
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, my parents had gotten a Villa before they passed away.
Hence
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, now, we are living comfortably without worrying that someone will come and ask us to leave the property and find a different location.
Additionally
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, obtaining an apartment is a significant investment because the value of
this
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flat will be increasing in the future.
This
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is why humans prioritize getting a building for themselves.
In addition
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, they always have the chance to sell what they own which can be tremendously profitable for them.
For example
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, In 2007, my uncle bought a house for 250.000$, currently,
this
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place
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is worths
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worths
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worth
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900.000$, which is exactly why it is a great move, and better than being a renter.
To sum up
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, owning flats plays a substantial role in facilitating a decent life for a
persons's
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person's
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kids.
Furthermore
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, It is considered to be essential, and one of the best investments of all time. In 2 years
of
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apply
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now, several men will be purchasing houses
instead
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of living in rental homes.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences relate to that idea.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your main points.
general
Check your grammar and spelling to ensure clarity in your writing.
task achievement
You have clearly expressed your opinion on home ownership and its importance.
task achievement
You provided personal examples which enhance your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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