IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful members for society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal wishes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some believe that the
purpose
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 is to prepare
individuals
Use synonyms
 to be useful members
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. And others say that the
purpose
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 is to achieve personal wishes. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both views and give
ny
Correct your spelling
my
opinion
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I will discuss the idea
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the
purpose
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 is to prepare
individuals
Use synonyms
 to be useful members
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. In my
Use synonyms
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the reasonable and right
purpose
Use synonyms
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation,
Individuals
Use synonyms
 and organizations can get benefit either from knowledge or
profability
Correct your spelling
profitability
probability
. After that
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 will see there is no reason can stop them from achieving
succes
Correct your spelling
success
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I have another
opinion
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
view
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that the
purpose
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 is to achieve personal wishes. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
view
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 can achieve their personal wishes and be useful
for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time. So there is nothing
convence
Correct your spelling
convince
convinced
 me to agree with
this
Linking Words
view
Use synonyms
 when the
people
Use synonyms
 can get their personal wishes with organizations not just themselves. In conclusion, I discuss both views and give my
opinion
Use synonyms
. Everyone can talk about their
view
Use synonyms
 but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 focused
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my
opinion
Use synonyms
 because it's represented me and either
ways
Change to a singular noun
way
show examples
, the
individuals
Use synonyms
 can be useful but I completely agree with the
firs
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
view
Use synonyms
 which is
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the
purpose
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 is to prepare
individuals
Use synonyms
 to be useful for
society
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to write clearly about both sides of the argument. Give a strong opinion in the end.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in conclusion' to connect your ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar. For example, 'beacause' should be 'because', and 'thay' should be 'they'.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion at the end of the essay. This shows good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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