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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart depicts the figures of worldwide sales of games software, CDs and DVD from 2000 to 2003

The chart depicts the figures of worldwide sales of games software, CDs and DVD from 2000 to 2003
The chart depicts the figures
of
Change preposition
for
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 worldwide sales of
games
Use synonyms
software
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,
CDs
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 and
Use synonyms
DVD
Fix the agreement mistake
DVDs
show examples
 from 2000 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
CDs
Use synonyms
 being sold decreased gradually,
in contrast
Linking Words
,
games
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software
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 and
DVD
Use synonyms
/video witnessed
the
Correct article usage
a
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 trend of increasing
through
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over
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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.
However
Linking Words
,
CDs
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 still the product being bought most by customers. In 2000,
games
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software
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 was the least popular choice globally generating about 15
billion
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dollars
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revenue
Change preposition
in revenue
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. The figure was quite humble when
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with nearly 20
billion
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dollars
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
DVD
Fix the agreement mistake
DVDs
show examples
 and about 35
billion
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dollars
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
CDs
Use synonyms
. In 2001,
CDs
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 went through a slight reduction
while
Linking Words
 game
software
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
DVD
Fix the agreement mistake
DVDs
show examples
 both grew
at
Change preposition
by
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 about 16 and 21
billion
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dollars
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, respectively. In 2002, sales of
games
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software
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 rose to nearly 19
billion
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dollars
Use synonyms
 and
DVD
Use synonyms
/video reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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approximately 28
billion
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dollars
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,
however
Linking Words
,
CDs
Use synonyms
 continuously declined to nearly 31
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. In 2003,
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 revenue
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 two products including
Use synonyms
DVD
Fix the agreement mistake
DVDs
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 and
CDs
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 almost the same at about 30
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. Though
games
Use synonyms
software
Use synonyms
 generated nearly 20
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2003, it was still the stock having the lowest revenue.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words games, software, cds, dvd, billion, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "depicts" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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