IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made oversea travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

Over the past decades,
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
 travel has become much more accessible
due to
Linking Words
 the decreased cost of flying. In
this
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 essay, I want to illustrate why
this
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 comes with advantages
as well as
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 disadvantages. Commercial flying has become exceedingly cheaper compared to the 20th century.
This
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 is owed to new technology reducing the cost of constructing and maintaining planes. Commercial flights make it possible for people to visit family members or friends all over the world. One is not bound to the place they live at anymore and individuals can choose where they want to spend their life without having to leave their folk.
For example
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, I can move to Australia without having to fear not
to see
Change the verb form
seeing
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 my Mother again.
Although
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 using
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
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 opens up many choices of living for individuals, they damage the climate vastly. Air traffic is responsible for 2% of all CO² emissions
World wide
Correct your spelling
Worldwide
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.
Moreover
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, with decreasing costs the trend for
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
 travel is rising and booking small
weenend
Correct your spelling
weekend
 trips
becomes
Wrong verb form
is becoming
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 more popular.
As a result
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, the environment gets injured over a
holyday
Correct your spelling
holiday
 that could be avoided by choosing a weekend trip near your living place. In conclusion,
while
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 flying might be beneficial for individuals, it releases high amounts of carbon dioxide and accelerates climate change.
This
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 could be avoided by not advertising small flights that can be easily done by train or car. In my opinion, everyone has to debate with
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 if the benefit of flying outweighs the risk for our future.

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Task Response
The introduction should clearly state the advantages and disadvantages separately, making it easy for the reader to follow. You could add a sentence to explain what will be discussed in the body.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that shows what the paragraph is about. Some ideas need more examples to be clear.
Task Response
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence for your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points more clearly and restate your opinion in a strong way. It can also connect back to the introduction.
Task Achievement
You clearly identified a relevant topic and provided your opinion on it, which is important for task response.
Task Achievement
The use of personal example about moving to Australia adds a nice touch to your essay and engages the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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