IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The range and quality of food has been improved with the development of technology and scientific advance. Some people think it is good and others think it is harmful. Discuss two sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, thanks to advanced technology and chemistry, the range and quality of food
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been improved. Some
people
Use synonyms
 advocate that it is good
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that it is harmful for
people
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.
This
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 essay will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
 both of these arguments with their
reasons
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. First of all,
people
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 who find it good for
people
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 think that human
beings
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 and their settlements have been improving and spreading day by day and place by place.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 need more goods to consume and survive. To afford and store these needs human
beings
Use synonyms
 have to
use
Use synonyms
 some kinds of
chemicals
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 and technologies. As far as I am concerned, even if these
foods
Use synonyms
 include harmful
chemicals
Use synonyms
, human
beings
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 must
use
Use synonyms
 them because their numbers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been increasing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
people
Correct word choice
that people
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 should not
use
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foods
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 that include
chemicals
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. They
also
Linking Words
 believe
people
Use synonyms
 should feed themselves by using only natural ways.
However
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, it is impossible because of two
reasons
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. One of these
reasons
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 is that price, natural
foods
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 sell
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 price so many
people
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 cannot afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. The second reason is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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sustainability, even if
people
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 afford these
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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, our world cannot afford these kinds of high demand for natural production.
To sum up
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, if we look at both of these ideas, it is more logical to
use
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chemicals
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 and technologies to store
foods
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 and to afford
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 feeding demand of human
beings
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 because of the
reasons
Use synonyms
 that I mentioned.

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task achievement
Try to strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your opinion. This will help the reader understand your stance from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports that idea with examples or reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas. Words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in conclusion' can help your essay flow better.
task achievement
You have discussed both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, which helps to bring the essay to a close.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural efficiency
  • Food preservation
  • Nutritional enhancements
  • Genetically modified organisms (GMOs)
  • Processed foods
  • Ecological footprint
  • Biodiversity
  • Pesticides
  • Factory farming
  • Lab-grown meat
  • Sustainability
  • Food distribution
  • Food security
  • Ethical sourcing
  • Monoculture farming
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