IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Modern technology is used in many workplaces today. How do you think technology changed the ways people work? Do you think there any disadvantages of relying on technology at work

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Nowadays, no matter where you go, you will find the necessity to
work
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 with technologies. They make our
lives
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 easier with the possibility to communicate effectively, to complete diverse tasks even if we are not in the office or at home. Technology simplifies our
work
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 and promotes the benefits of an easier life.
However
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, using phones and computers everyday make us dependent on them, and that creates a lot of problems for our health. First of all, technologies were created to ease our
lives
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,
for example
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, to not have to read a lot of books to find the information we need. In my opinion, with the advent of technology, our
lives
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 have absolutely changed because of reduced manual
labor
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labour
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, the communication between partners and the organisation became more effective. Computers ensure fewer errors than manual
work
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, and the information entered into them is transparent.
Nonetheless
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, there are some disadvantages that are created by using gadgets. Even though humans are capable of doing their job, it is known that in the near future, robots will replace people, and a massive job loss will start, as it happens now. Another problem is excessive dependence, and if most of the older generation have no problems staying without phones for some
time
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.
Moreover
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, the modern generation struggles without access to their mobiles
as a result
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 of the school system, where children are taught to use gadgets to complete their homework.
Also
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, a company that works with internet storage may confront with system crash and all files will be lost. From my point of view, it is important to navigate your screen
time
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 and not to forget about the real life around you, because a phone will never be better than having a sincere talk with a close friend.
To sum up
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, our
lives
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 are tightly connected with progressive computers, and they are useful for humanity, easing our
work
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, but it is no less important to practice without them and spend
time
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 at least one day a week without them, to feel the importance of real communication and take
time
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 just for yourself.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Say clearly how technology changed work, and say clearly what the bad sides are.
task response
Use more clear examples from work, like online meetings, fast data sharing, or job loss in one field.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each main idea in one paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
Some ideas are a bit far from work, like school homework and real life talks. Stay closer to the work topic.
task response
You answer both questions and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use some link words well, like first of all, nonetheless, and to sum up.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Remote work
  • Cloud computing
  • Video conferencing
  • Instant messaging
  • Collaborative platforms
  • Access to information
  • Internet resources
  • Decision-making
  • Skill development
  • Job displacement
  • AI (Artificial Intelligence)
  • Work-life balance
  • Data security
  • Hacking
  • Data breaches
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Technical glitches
  • Downtime
  • Productivity losses
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