IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Whether fewer possessions life is the best way for having better quality of life

Whether fewer
possessions
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 is the best way
for having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
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 quality of
life
Use synonyms
.
While
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this
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 trend
create
Change the verb form
creates
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a
Remove the article
apply
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finance freedom, it
also
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make
Change the verb form
makes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
Use synonyms
 less convenient and
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
 the
spirit
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why fewer
possessions
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
 would be disagreed. One of the potential concerns of fewer
possessions
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
in life
show examples
 is the inconvenience on
Correct article usage
a regularly
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regularly basic
Replace the word
regular basis
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. simply put, it will act as a deterrent
of
Change preposition
to
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 having a
fully
Change the word
full
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 of supportive equipment which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been playing a main role in current
life
Use synonyms
, especially disruptive technology,
therefore
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 leading general
life
Use synonyms
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
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 more complex. Taking homing auto-machines as an example, they have been widely used to tackle housework issues,
this
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 increases the
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
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 in
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Thus
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, if
people
Use synonyms
chosen
Wrong verb form
choose
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 to live under possession
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
, their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 would be more inconvenient
in
Change preposition
on
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 many sides. What makes
this
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 particularly advantageous is the poverty in
spirit
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, having not
owed
Correct your spelling
owned
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 any entertainment equipment which was
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unnecessary in the
fewer possession
Correct your spelling
less-possessed
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 community,
such
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 as music devices, needless to say, it will absolutely
effect
Verb problem
have
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 negative impacts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s
Use synonyms
spirit
Fix the agreement mistake
spirits
show examples
.
Secondly
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, if general citizens
minimalize
Verb problem
minimise
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 decoration goods, it will
deprived
Change the verb form
deprive
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 them of compelling in arts, thereby
declined
Wrong verb form
declining
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 their article horizon.
Hence
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 the fewer
possessions
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
, the fewer their
spirit
Use synonyms
 cognitive is
In contrast
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, advocates of
Correct article usage
the minimalism
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minimalism
Replace the word
minimalist
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 lifestyle believe that it might contribute the
finance
Replace the word
financial
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 freedom
in
Change preposition
apply
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later.
That is
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 to say,
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 using a minor expenditure,
people
Use synonyms
 particularly run a higher risk of
save
Wrong verb form
saving
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 a myriad of debt which will eventually
use
Wrong verb form
be used
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 when they
were
Wrong verb form
are
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 senior.
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However
Add a comma
However,
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this
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 can be limited if
people
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 prefer expansive
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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 and experiences. Ultimately, there is no doubt that even
stay
Verb problem
apply
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in
Correct article usage
a minimalism
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minimalism
Replace the word
minimalist
show examples
life
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
still
Add a missing verb
are still
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 faced with financial tremendous. In conclusion,
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whereas
Correct word choice
apply
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living with fewer
possession
Fix the agreement mistake
possessions
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 may lead
people
Use synonyms
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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finance
Replace the word
financial
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 freedom.
It is clear that
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 there
drawbacks
Add a missing verb
are drawbacks
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 not only the inconvenience but
also
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 the poverty in
spirit
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms

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coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point that connects to your overall argument.
task achievement
Use supporting examples for each main point. This will help make your argument stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure every sentence is clear and easy to understand. Avoid long and complex sentences that can confuse the reader.
task achievement
You discuss different viewpoints, which shows you think critically about the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have a structure with introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good for essay writing.
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