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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the graph below shows the favourite sport of pepole from The USA between 1985 and 2015

the graph below shows the favourite sport of pepole from The USA between 1985 and 2015
The line graph gives
compears
Verb problem
a comparison
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 of the favourite
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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US
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 from1985
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, three
sports
Use synonyms
 became more popular
American
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 football ,
Basketball
Use synonyms
 , and other
sports
Use synonyms
‘. and two
sports
Use synonyms
 became less popular Baseball and Hockey.
while
Linking Words
American
Use synonyms
fotball
Correct your spelling
football
 remained consistently the most popular sport , Hockey became the less. The
sports
Use synonyms
 that increased in popularity are
American
Use synonyms
 football ,
Basketball
Use synonyms
 , and other
sports
Use synonyms
 .
American
Use synonyms
fotball
Correct your spelling
football
 was the favourite throughout the period.
In
Change preposition
From
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 1985 to 2000, its popularity hovered between 36% and
and
Correct word choice
apply
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38%, before increasing to 20% in 2000. (where it remained until 2015).
Basketball
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, which started as the third favourite sport at 15 %,dipped slightly before rising to 20% in 2000. there was a
seconed dipp
Correct your spelling
second drop
 in 2005 ,
afterward
Add a comma
afterward,
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 there was a consistent increase for a decade, meaning that
Basketball
Use synonyms
 overtook baseball place.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sports, american, basketball with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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