In some countries, schools are open till late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

A new trend has been observed where the schools remain open after its normal hours to take care of
children
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, whose
parents
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are working and are unable to take care.
This
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essay will discuss both the advantages and the disadvantages of
this
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trend. The primary advantage of
this
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trend is the
guaranted
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guaranteed
guarantee
safety and security.
In other words
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, the school is a trusted and well-regulated institute, which can foster a safe, soothing, and
playfull
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playful
environment for
children
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.
Thus
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,
parents
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can be well assured that their
children
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are safe and they can work peacefully without worrying about their
children
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's safety.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
,
children
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could get an opportunity to spend
time
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with their peers to play, study, and engage in outdoor games, potentially resulting in the development of physical strength
as well as
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communication skills and interpersonal skills.
In contrast
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,
by
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apply
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spending
extensive
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an extensive
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period of their day in school could have a negative impact on their relationship with
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parents
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their parents
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.
Children
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might not develop a strong connection with their
parents
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due to
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the lack of quality
time
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spend
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spent
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together.
Reseach
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Research
suggests that when
children
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spend
time
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with their
parents
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they are able to develop special moments, which lays the foundation for a deep connection.
Furthermore
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, these
children
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could grow up to have an
enstranged
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estranged
relationship with their
parents
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, which could have a negative impact on their adult lives. In conclusion,
parents
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have to work to support their
children
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, they have no choice but to opt for daycare services. The school is an ideal institute for
this
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purpose as it guarantees safety and security.
Moreover
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, the drawbacks could
be resolve
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be resolved
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if
parents
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prioritize their
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children
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children's
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needs and proactively plan activities to spend
time
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together and develop a strong connection.
Therefore
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, the disadvantages do not outweigh the advantages.

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coherence and cohesion
Use simpler sentence structures to improve clarity.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure spelling and grammar are correct to increase readability.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The main idea of safety is effectively presented in the first body paragraph.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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