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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Austra/ia's share of the Japanese tourist market. Summarise the information by se/ecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Austra/ia's share of the Japanese tourist market. Summarise the information by se/ecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph illustrates the number of people from
Japan
Use synonyms
 interested in tourism and the line graph demonstrates the proportion of
Japanese
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 visiting Australia from the year 1985 to 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the share of residents of
Japan
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 visiting different countries has increased over the decade.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the Australian tourism market experienced a significant rise in the percentage of visitors from
Japan
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 during the period. In 1985, only 5
million
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of
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apply
show examples
Japanese
Use synonyms
 commuted to other nations and formed 2 per
cent
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 of total tourists in Australia.
However
Linking Words
, the trend gradually increased over the next five years leading to over 10
million
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 of
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
 population of
Japan
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 contributing to tourism. In terms of their contribution
in
Change preposition
to
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 Australia, till 1888 , around 5 per
cent
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 of visitors constituted of
Japanese
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the country experienced a downfall in the next year resulting in dropping the figure to about 4 per
cent
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. In the other half of the decade, the number of interested persons from
Japan
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 in travelling fluctuated between 10
million
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 and 14
million
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.
Thus
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, the share of tourists reached its peak in 1995 to over 15
million
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the rise in tourists from
Japan
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 resulted in increased income for Australians from the tourist market as the proportion of
Japanese
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 in 1994 was over 6 per
cent
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 which steadily declined in the
last
Linking Words
 year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, japanese, million, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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