IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, producers are eager to show in their
advertisements
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 that their
products
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 are new to some extent.
This
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 is mainly
due to
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 limited innovation. I vehemently believe
this
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 to be a negative development
due to
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 the lack of creativity in the long term. One of the main reasons why companies want to
emphasis
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emphasise
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on
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apply
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new features in their
products
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 is their limited
ability
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 to build something completely new. Each producer has to invest plenty of
money
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for
Change preposition
in
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 research and development in order to make something new. Even when they
produced
Wrong verb form
produce
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 an entirely new product, they have to spend too much
money
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 to build new production lines, which not only is expensive, but it will take plenty of time.
Thus
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, in order to save
money
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, these producers prefer to focus on slight
changes
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 in their
products
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 each year to decrease their expenses.
Moreover
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, they try to magnify these
changes
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 in their
advertisements
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 and attract consumer's attention. These
advertisements
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 cost only a fraction of the
money
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 which they should spend to make a whole new product.
However
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,
this
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 approach can lead to many problems including lack of creativity in industries in the long term. When companies get used to
make
Change the verb form
making
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 little
changes
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 in their
products
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 each year,
instead
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 of investing in research and innovation, gradually they will lose the
ability
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 and attitude to make revolutionary
products
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.
Although
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advertisements
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 could boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sales in the short term, they cannot replace innovation. In a competitive market, when a company loses the
ability
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of making
Replace the preposition
to make
show examples
 big
changes
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, other competitors will replace them by making new
products
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, which might even lead to their bankruptcy. In conclusion, many companies are interested in advertising small
changes
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 in their
products
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.
This
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 is because of their limited
ability
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 to make big
changes
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.
Although
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this
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 might benefit them shortly,
but
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apply
show examples
due to
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lakcing
Correct your spelling
lacking
 of creativity they may lose their position to other competitors.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This helps the reader know what each paragraph is about.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammar and word choice, as there are some small mistakes that can distract the reader.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion on the topic, which is important for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a good structure with clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow the argument.
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