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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below shows the consumption of three basic foods (wheat, maize, rice) by people in four different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the consumption of three basic foods (wheat, maize, rice) by people in four different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table provides key information about the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
wheat
Use synonyms
,
maize
Use synonyms
, and
rice
Use synonyms
 by
people
Use synonyms
 in Cambodia, Poland, Egypt, and Mexico. The units are measured in
calories
Use synonyms
 per person per day.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
rice
Use synonyms
 is more popular
consumption
Use synonyms
 in Cambodia. Egypt
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
wheat
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 to eat,
whereas
Linking Words
Maize
Use synonyms
 is a famous type of basic food in Mexico.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in the diagram, a few individual
people
Use synonyms
 in Cambodia eat
wheat
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 there were 103
people
Use synonyms
 who consumed a
Maize
Use synonyms
. As I mentioned, there were 1445
calories
Use synonyms
 per person per day for
rice
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there were zero
calories
Use synonyms
 in
Maize
Use synonyms
 in Poland,
whereas
Linking Words
rice
Use synonyms
 arrived at 19
consumption
Use synonyms
.
Wheat
Use synonyms
 had a large number of Poland
people
Use synonyms
. In terms of Egypt, there was a similar
consumption
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 of
rice
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 and
maize
Use synonyms
.
Wheat
Use synonyms
calories
Use synonyms
 reached 865.
Maize
Use synonyms
 had the highest number of Mexican
people
Use synonyms
. After that,
wheat
Use synonyms
 was in second rank.
Then
Linking Words
,
rice
Use synonyms
 was the least consumed by Mexican
people
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, wheat, maize, rice, people, calories with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • basic foods
  • staples
  • dietary preferences
  • agricultural output
  • nutritional intake
  • per capita
  • predominant
  • subsistence crops
  • culinary habits
  • food security
  • statistical overview
  • consumption patterns
  • comparative analysis
  • domestic production
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