IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been an ongoing debate about whether the working week should be shorter so that workers have more
days
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 at the weekend or not. I believe that
employees
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 deserve to have longer weekends.



To begin
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 with , jobs create distance between people and their loved ones . Nowadays people tend to
work
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 more than 12 hours a day for 5
days
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 a week. These
employees
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 have been spending all morning and night at
work
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; throughout the day they did not have the chance to see or even speak with their family, and
that is
Linking Words
 enough to make a significant backdrop in their relationships.
For example
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 , there was a study at Oxford University about the effect of
work
Use synonyms
 on the relationship between a dad and his daughter; it was shown that daughters who grow up with busy fathers suffer from difficulty expressing their feelings. An additional reason for my stance is that they will have
time
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 to arrange their lives outside
work
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.Most individuals do not have
time
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 to take care of their health or to spend
time
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 with their family. If they get more
days
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 at the weekends , they will have
time
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 to exercise in the park or visit their relatives .
Moreover
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 , their
work
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 can be done more professionally and they will still have
time
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 for other activities.In 2016 , BBC News published research about the relationship between worker’s mental health and the amount of working hours; it was shown that
employees
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 who
work
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 more suffer from stress and anxiety .
Therefore
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 , the quality of
work
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 did not satisfy their employers.
Hence
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,
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
working
days
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better
Correct word choice
and better
show examples
 workers .
To conclude
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 , the advantages of minimising the working week not only impact positively on
employees
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 but
also
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 the workspace.I think
that is
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 a primary reason to agree with that idea .

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea. Use clear examples that are easy to understand.
task achievement
Try to include more reasons why a shorter work week is better. This will help to show a complete response to the question.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is really good.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples from studies, which adds strength to your arguments.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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