IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In several nations,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to buy a
house
Use synonyms
 than rent it. There is a reason
where
Correct word choice
why
show examples
 owning a property
determine
Correct subject-verb agreement
determines
show examples
 whether
people
Use synonyms
 are
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 or not. In my opinion, it has some drawbacks,
such
Linking Words
 as doing more
repairment
Replace the word
repair
show examples
 and living in a less strategic location. Homeownership is important for some
people
Use synonyms
 because it is a symbol of success. The reason is,
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 represents the financial status of
people
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the high cost of real
estates
Fix the agreement mistake
estate
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Cibubur, a new small
house
Use synonyms
 charges around one billion rupiah, which means
two-hundred
Correct your spelling
two hundred
show examples
 times
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the monthly minimum wage and not many
people
Use synonyms
 can afford that.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will think that you come from a
high status
Add a hyphen
high-status
show examples
 background and have a lot of money
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if you are a young newlywed couple who have your own
house
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in fact, it has several negative impacts as
people
Use synonyms
 have to deal with a very high interest and a
long tenor
Add a hyphen
long-tenor
show examples
 debt to pay the instalment.
First,
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will choose a place which is more affordable, even though it is not in a proper condition.
As a result
Linking Words
, it requires more effort to repair the
house
Use synonyms
 in the future since more maintenance works need to be done.
Second,
Linking Words
citizens’
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
also
Linking Words
 lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real estate which is located in the
suburb
Replace the word
suburban
show examples
 area. As a
consequences
Correct the article-noun agreement
consequence
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 have to commute a long journey to go to their office in the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. In conclusion, buying an accommodation is a preferable option compared to renting one. It can be caused by the social status that
determine
Wrong verb form
is determined
show examples
 by owning a property.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, it has a bad impact
such
Linking Words
 as a potential for high maintenance
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 and could located far from their workplace.

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to make your ideas flow better, like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
task response
Provide a balanced view by mentioning both sides of the argument in more detail.
task response
You included a good example about house prices, which helps explain your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main ideas well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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