IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Leaders and directors in organizations are often older people. Some people say that younger people could be leaders. Do you agree or disagree?

Leadership and directorship are vital
characters
Replace the word
characteristics
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 big companies and it is often seen that the command of
such
Linking Words
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
 remains in the hands of senior staff members.
However
Linking Words
, some people say that they should give a chance to young professionals too. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because these roles require background which newly hired employees might lack. The elder employees have much more
experience
Use synonyms
 than the junior employee. They have worked for a company for many years.
Also
Linking Words
, they have knowledge of companies' weaker and positive points. Companies always make sure that the upper management can handle difficult tasks without any pressure which might be not possible
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 fresh candidates. That's why, a person with
experience
Use synonyms
 might be more suitable.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in terms of responsibility, they always come forward as compared to youngsters. They respect
work
Use synonyms
 duties and are always ready to
work
Use synonyms
, it does not matter to them if there is a holiday or not. They believe that the workplace is their home, and whenever needed they remain ready to
work
Use synonyms
. Which is essential to increase the productivity of businesses.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they are more respectful people
due to
Linking Words
 the credibility and loyalty they have gained which is why, everyone trusts them.
For example
Linking Words
, during strikes,
this
Linking Words
 trait can be helpful to convince the workers to get back to
work
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is essential to have
this
Linking Words
 valuable
managment
Correct your spelling
management
 to handle queries within short notice. In conclusion, it is true that new pass-outs have knowledge of technology and fresh
experience
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the old people are more beneficial, like
experience
Use synonyms
 with time, responsibility in terms of duties, the love and respect to ease the problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
, higher roles should only be suitable for citizens who are near retirement.

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Task Achievement
Try to provide clearer examples and explanations for your main points. This will strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas better. Using linking words will help with this.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your position right away.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and support it throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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