IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that online study is the most effective and convenient way to learn. Others believe that online study will never be as effective as learning at school, in person. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Since the early 2000s, technology has become increasingly widespread. After technological advancements, several technology-related activities have gained prominence
such
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 as online
study
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. There is an ongoing debate about whether online
classes
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 are as effective as face-to-face
classes
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. I utterly believe that online
study
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 has a positive impact on
students
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 in terms of
time
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 management and accessibility. On the one hand, proponents of online
education
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 firmly claim that online
classes
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 contribute to managing
time
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. Specifically,
students
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 can boost their academic performance by enhancing
time
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 management.
For instance
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, research indicates that
students
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 who
study
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 in countries that
adopted
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adopt
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 online
education
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 improve their cognitive and linguistic
skills
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 compared to
students
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 who
study
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 in other countries.
According to
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this
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 research,
students
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 make
time
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for acquiring
Change preposition
to acquire
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 new
skills
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 rather than wasting their
time
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 at school.
On the other hand
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, those who oppose online
education
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 claim that traditional
education
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 fosters psychological and interpersonal
skills
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 by socialising children with their peers. Several European countries implement strict regulations for face-to-face
education
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.
According to
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 them, educational settings affect not only psychological
skills
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,
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apply
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 but
also
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 physiological
skills
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 in the long run. Attending
classes
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 and striving to be more active in
classes
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 raise competition between
students
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 which helps to enhance interpersonal
skill
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skills
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.
To sum up
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,
although
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 some individuals support traditional
education
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, I strongly believe that innovation in technology should be adopted and implemented by government sanction.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction outlines both views clearly before stating your opinion.
coherence
Try to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion which strengthens your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Effective
  • Convenient
  • Flexibility
  • Structured environment
  • Interactive resources
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Communication skills
  • Diverse educational materials
  • Collaborative learning
  • Procrastination
  • Commuting
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