IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

A lot of
students
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seclect
Correct your spelling
select
 to complete their higher
education
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 abroad or
faraway
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far away
show examples
 from their
hometwon
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hometown
hometowns
 and
familes
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families
.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 choice will
cost
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 them extra
money
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, I believe it will improve their
future
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 by gaining
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
education
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. Many
students
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financialy
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financially
 depend on their
families
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. When they choose to complete their studies
faraway
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far away
show examples
,
this
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 will
cost
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 them extra
money
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 for their
education
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 fees, housing, food and healthcare. Many
students
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 need to work or ask their
families
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 to support them.
For example
Linking Words
, when a student
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
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 night
shefts
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shifts
shafts
 to provide
money
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 for the basic needs
cost
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, he or she will
has
Wrong verb form
have
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 less time to
study
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, which
negtively
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negatively
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 their
education
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
families
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unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
 to support their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
. I believe that when
students
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 decide to
study
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abrod
Correct your spelling
abroad
, they need to manage their budgets or ask their
families
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 to support them.
However
Linking Words
, studying abroad
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a huge impact on
students
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's
education
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 and
future
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. Many
students
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 are from small cities or rural areas that have a lack of good
education
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. Many
students
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travil
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travel
 to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
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 countries for the sake of enhancing their
future
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, and find better educational
instituation
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institution
institutions
.
For example
Linking Words
, many Saudi
students
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 move to
United
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the United
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State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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 to
study
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 majors that
are
Verb problem
do
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 not
exsist
Correct your spelling
exist
exists
 in Saudi Arabia, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 their
future
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. I think the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of getting
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 job in
future
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighed
 the drawbacks of costing extra
money
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. In conclusion,
Linking Words
although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many
students
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 choose to
study
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 far from where they
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 up, which will
cost
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 them more
money
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. I believe getting better learning and improving
students
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's
future
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 is more important than thinking about the
cost
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly explain both sides. You discussed drawbacks and benefits, but the structure could be clearer. Use paragraphs to separate different ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Be careful with grammar and spelling. There are some mistakes in your writing that can confuse the reader, such as 'seclect' instead of 'select' and 'hometwon' instead of 'hometown'.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning more countries or fields of study can make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear opinion, which is good. You believe that the benefits of studying far away outweigh the drawbacks, which gives your essay focus.
task achievement
You address important points regarding financial issues and educational quality, showing that you understand the topic well.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural sensitivity
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • specialized programs
  • networking
  • career opportunities
  • homesickness
  • cultural shock
  • financial strain
  • accommodation
  • cost of living
  • family relationships
  • emotional challenges
What to do next:
Look at other essays: