IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some country are moving towards a cashless society where all transactions are digital. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages.

Some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 are moving towards a
cashless
Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
 where all transactions are digital. Do the advantages of a
cashless
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society
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 outweigh the disadvantages
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 The digitalization of
money
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 is being realized in today’s world despite the risks of getting scammed.
However
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
argument
Correct article usage
an argument
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 is outweighed by the safety
as well as
Linking Words
 convenience that
Use synonyms
cashless
Correct article usage
a cashless
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society
Use synonyms
 provides. It must be understood that digitalization aids
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money storing
Add a hyphen
money-storing
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 protection. In the past, most of a person’s worth used to commonly be stashed within one’s house’s safe or
a
Remove the article
apply
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trustworthy bank storage. Despite their best efforts,
this
Linking Words
 method was still vulnerable to burglary or robberies which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 rampant at the time
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 in high-end neighborhoods.
In contrast
Linking Words
, digital
money
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 would not face the same problems as it could be only accessed with the owner’s security details
consequently
Linking Words
 increasing the safety of one’s hard-earned wealth. Nowadays,
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cashless
Add an article
a cashless
the cashless
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society
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 is praised as it makes
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
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 smoother. Simply put, online
money
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 transacting apps are linked to a bank account. These apps
then
Linking Words
 act as a quick-access trading ground for both the buyer and the seller.
For instance
Linking Words
, “CashApp”, a
Use synonyms
money transmitting
Add a hyphen
money-transmitting
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 app developed by Apple, can simply transfer
money
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 with a QR code. Given the aforementioned advantages, some still fear the possibility of getting all their
money
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 scammed. Stemming from internet urban legends where people got their
money
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 stolen through clicking a suspicious link or video which
steal
Wrong verb form
stole
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 their bank accounts.
Although
Linking Words
might
Correct pronoun usage
this might
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 be true in the past, safety measures, like 2 steps-verification or
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
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meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
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,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 now compulsory for one to make a large withdrawal. In conclusion, the possibility of getting scammed
is outweigh
Change the verb form
is outweighed
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 by that of secured storage measures
as well as
Linking Words
 convenient transactions. Should we exceed to a
cashless
Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it would grant great benefits.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports your overall argument. Use linking words to clarify your points.
task achievement
Try to give more examples or specific details to support your claims. This helps readers understand your points better.
positive
The introduction clearly states the main topic and presents your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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