Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

It is suggested by few that having a lot of

money

Use synonyms

will make

individual's

Correct article usage

an individual's

show examples

life

Use synonyms

joyful. It is very evident that

money

Use synonyms

can buy all the materialistic things in the world.

However

Linking Words

, there are other aspects

Change preposition

show examples

life

Use synonyms

which can

also

Linking Words

bring inner

peace

Use synonyms

. A happy

life

Use synonyms

requires a balance between

money

Use synonyms

and

sprituality

Correct your spelling

spirituality

To begin

Linking Words

with, Having

a tons

Correct the article-noun agreement

tons

a ton

show examples

money

Use synonyms

can bring freedom and time. It can provide a

luxrious

Correct your spelling

luxurious

lifestyle, house and a dream car.

One

Use synonyms

can go for a long vacation without any hesitation and permission from work as they

owns

Change the verb form

own

show examples

everything.

Furthermore

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

can bring calmness in

life

Use synonyms

, having extra

money

Use synonyms

can save

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

amount of time, as it can afford

private

Correct article usage

a private

show examples

plane to travel comfortably

through out

Correct your spelling

throughout

show examples

the world, and it

also

Linking Words

provides the luxury

to hire

Change preposition

of hiring

show examples

servents

Correct your spelling

servants

show examples

and

housekeeper

Fix the agreement mistake

housekeepers

show examples

to do all the cleaning and cooking,

while

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

can enjoy rest of the day focusing on making more

money

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

can send their children to study abroad at the top universities, without taking any student loans.

Secondly

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

is not the only solution for happy

life

Use synonyms

. It is human connections that bring

peace

Use synonyms

and knowledge.

For Instance

Linking Words

, lord buddha, who was a king of his kingdom,

one

Use synonyms

day he decided to roam around his state as a normal citizen to check upon his

people

Use synonyms

Thats

Correct your spelling

That

where he finds out

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

Use synonyms

people

Correct article usage

the people

show examples

of his kingdom are having a joyful

life

Use synonyms

without having any luxury, he

realized

Wrong verb form

realises

show examples

by seeing those

people

Use synonyms

street

Add an article

the street

show examples

that

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

not tons of gold that makes humans happy, it is something else.

Thereafter

Linking Words

, he left his kingdom and all the luxuries to find

real

Add an article

the real

show examples

meaning of happiness and later he found that spirituality can bring inner

peace

Use synonyms

and inner

peace

Use synonyms

can lead

prosperous

Add an article

a prosperous

show examples

life

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, in today's scenario,

money

Use synonyms

is very important to have a great

life

Use synonyms

, it makes

people

Use synonyms

happy

Change preposition

show examples

some extent.

However

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

should not spend their whole

life

Use synonyms

going after

money

Use synonyms

and later realizing

that is

Linking Words

it worth it or not. As they have to balance their

life

Use synonyms

between work and inner

peace

Use synonyms

pp7312326Mon Jun 02 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Each point should connect clearly to your argument.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples that are relevant to your points.

language use

Proofread your writing to correct spelling mistakes, such as 'luxrious' and 'servents'.

content

Good introduction and conclusion that explain the importance of both money and spirituality in happiness.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

350 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

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The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at the same time, the military services are in need of people. Compulsory military service is beneficial and necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?