IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people say that music is a good way of bringin people of diffferent cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that
music
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 is
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 of making all different ages and cultures with each other.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree that
music
Use synonyms
 can really get
people
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 from all over the world.
Music
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is definitelty
show examples
definitelty
Correct your spelling
definitely
 a great
way
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 to connect with new cultures, and it can be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
universall
Correct your spelling
universal
universally
 language many
people
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 do not understand
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 or
arabic
Change the capitalization
Arabic
show examples
 but with
Use synonyms
music
Add a comma
music,
show examples
 they can reach them,
also
Linking Words
cocerts
Correct your spelling
concerts
 and
feastivel
Correct your spelling
festival
festivals
 and shows can get
people
Use synonyms
 from all over the world to listen to their favourite artist.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
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uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
songs
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 to connect with others like love
songs
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 and sad
songs
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 can be used
also
Linking Words
,
its
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it's
it is
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 a great idea to make
people
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 from any country
to
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apply
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feel a
ceartin
Correct your spelling
certain
way
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. many
songs
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 can be used for
thearpy
Correct your spelling
therapy
 because it relaxes you and if you want to
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
 it will
defenitly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 help. you might use
songs
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 to send a
massage
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message
show examples
 to your
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
show examples
 ones. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
concluison
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concluison,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that
music
Use synonyms
 by far is the best
way
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 to communicate with other
people
Use synonyms
 even if they
from
Add a missing verb
are from
show examples
 another country.

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grammar
Make sure to use correct grammar and spelling. For example, 'definitely' instead of 'definitelty'.
structure
Try to organize your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should talk about one main idea clearly.
content
Add more specific examples or details to make your points stronger. This will help the reader understand your ideas better.
opinion
You have a clear opinion stated in your introduction.
idea
You touched on the idea of music as a universal language, which is a strong point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • cultural exchange
  • emotional connection
  • appreciation
  • diversity
  • nostalgia
  • shared experiences
  • community events
  • global festivals
  • therapeutic benefits
  • unity
  • respect
  • dialogue
  • barriers
  • genres
What to do next:
Look at other essays: