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Writing Samples
Band 5

Today many teenagers rely greatly on technology when learning. Is this a positive or negative development?

There is no gainsaying the fact that, in
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 era, it is increasingly common for teenagers to depend on
technology
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 for their educational
purpose
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purposes
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. Some argue that
this
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a
Add a missing verb
is a
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negative development,
while
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 I believe that it is a largely positive development
due to
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 the accessibility of information and enhancement of learning experiences.
To begin
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 with,
technology
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 has numerous benefits for learning.
Firstly
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,
technology
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 provides students with instant access to
vast
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the vast
a vast
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 amount of knowledge. Online platforms
such
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 as educational websites, digital libraries, and video tutorials allow teenagers to learn at their own pace and revisit complex topics as needed.
This
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 is particularly useful for students who may struggle to keep up in traditional classroom settings.
For instance
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, many YouTube channels provide free and high-quality education for learners worldwide.
Secondly
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, interactive learning tools and educational software have made studying more effective and engaging. There are some applications available online which use animation, and simulations help to
breakdown
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break down
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 complicated concepts and keep students motivated. These tools often cater to different learning styles,
for example
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, visual,
auditory
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and auditory
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-
thus
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 improving
comprehensive
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the comprehensive
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 and retention of knowledge
?
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.
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However
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, it is important to recognize that overuse of
technology
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 has some drawbacks,
such
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 as reduced face-to-face interaction, eyesight weakness and potential distractions from non-education content.
Nevertheless
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, if used mindfully and under appropriate supervision, these issues can be minimized. In conclusion, I restate that
although
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 there are some risks associated with
use
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the use
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 of
technology
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 in education, the
overall
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 impact is highly beneficial. The ease of access to information and the improvement in learning quality make
this
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 a positive development.

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task achievement
Add one or two more examples to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear transitions between paragraphs to improve flow.
coherence and cohesion
Review sentence structure for clarity; some sentences are a bit long and complex.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion and give a good introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You use relevant points to discuss the benefits of technology in education.
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