IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some peopble think that being able to communicate online is breaking geographical barriers and enabiling peopple who would never have chance to meet what are advantage and disadvantage of it

With the advancement of communication
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
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 like
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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, internet, WhatsApp and Messenger
people
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 from all over the world are getting close to each other. It is a boon for human lives as it helps
people
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 to stay in touch with their loved ones. There are many pros and cons of it which I will discuss in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, it provides countless benefits.
As a result
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, folks can explore and learn various cultures, rituals and languages without any restrictions. A love story published
on
Change preposition
in
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 Canada’s newspaper shows that the couple lived in different countries, started talking online,
then
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 fell in love with each other and now are happily living together. In
this
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way
Add a comma
way,
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people
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 get good relationships and friends.
Linking Words
Also
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Also,
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 it lowers the number of lonely
people
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 because they are able to chat and make friends on
internet
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the internet
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 which makes them socially active.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks too.
People
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 become dependent on online life and lose interest in real-life interaction. Some
people
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 are born
in
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into
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 fraud activities,
some
Correct word choice
and some
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 become victims. Hackers steal maximum data from the phones and use it in illegal activities.
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Also
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Also,
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 kids are
on
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at
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 risk
to get
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of getting
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 involved in unethical talking with strangers.
Therefore
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 online communication is not always secure and safe.
To conclude
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, though it is
very
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a very
the very
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 good invention which helps
people
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 from different countries to connect, it must be used carefully and responsibly.
People
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 should keep their data private and take necessary precautions
while
Linking Words
 using online communication platforms.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure in your paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea supported by details.
task response
Include more specific examples to back up your points. This helps to strengthen your argument and show more depth in your essay.
task achievement
You clearly presented advantages and disadvantages of online communication which is good for task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction gives a good overview of what the essay will discuss.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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