In many cities and urban areas around the world, crime is increasing. What is the cause of this? How can governments help to prevent the crimes?

The crime rate is increasing in many cities and urban
areas
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around the world. I believe
this
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issue is mainly caused by population growth, and governments can address it by hiring more
police
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officers
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. On the one hand, population numbers are dramatically rising worldwide, which makes it more difficult for authorities to prevent crimes.
For example
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, in the United States, particularly in New York, an average of five crimes occur every hour, most of which happen in Times Square because large crowds gather there.
In addition
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, people are moving from rural to urban
areas
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, especially in Europe, which
also
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contributes to making it harder for governments to monitor every place effectively.
On the other hand
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,
this
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problem can be reduced if governments employ more
police
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officers
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. Not only would
this
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make it easier to distribute
officers
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across crowded
areas
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, but it would
also
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help reduce unemployment.
For instance
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, in Tokyo, Japan, the crime rate is low, and the city is considered safe because more than 1,000
police
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officers
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are hired every year. In conclusion, the crime rate is increasing, particularly in urban and metropolitan
areas
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due to
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rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
population.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
issue can be managed if authorities take action by recruiting more
police
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officers
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Your points are clear, but adding more examples would help strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'however', 'furthermore', or 'in addition'.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the problem and your opinion on how to solve it.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, which adds depth to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • socioeconomic factors
  • lack of education
  • employment opportunities
  • drug and substance abuse
  • gang activities
  • organized crime
  • inadequate law enforcement
  • corruption
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • rapid urbanization
  • overcrowding
  • digital crimes
  • cyberattacks
  • social and cultural factors
  • government initiatives
  • policies
  • strengthening law enforcement agencies
  • investing in education
  • skills training
  • socio-economic conditions
  • community engagement
  • awareness
  • implementing crime prevention strategies
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