There is an ongoing debate regarding whether the governments should allocate their expenditure heavily
onChange preposition
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art sectors rather than healthcare and education or not. In
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and explain why I consider that societal aspects, including medical and educational services, should be prioritized.
with, the
are significant for society
we can enhance our creativity and cultivate
thanks to the
of
those entertainmentChange the determiner
that entertainment
those entertainments
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. Without the contents,
as movies, plays,
literaturesChange the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
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and beautiful pictures,
richnessAdd an article
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of our culture would be lost.
, in rural areas of Japan,
governmental decisions, one specific county reallocated the budget for
a Remove the article
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cultural development to the national pension of residents.
decision is currently regarded as one of the prominent failures because it
leads to
theCorrect article usage
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higher suicide rate in that county, and it has been proved that the main cause of
serious result is the lack of entertainment.
, it is true that the
are essential for the entire society and
publicCorrect article usage
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sectors need to support
field by endorsing financially.
, it is
true that citizens must be healthy and rich in physical and intellectual aspects because if they have no capacity to understand those
and have health issues, they cannot even enjoy those contents.
, to understand a specific oil painting, we need to
what types of
artsFix the agreement mistake
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picture belongs to and what the painter wants to express through that picture.
, some cultural knowledge
areChange the verb form
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essential, and we can acquire them through education.
, when we hope to explore those creative contents, we
mustCorrect your spelling
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need to visit the facilities
as
theatersChange the spelling
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and museums. But if we have serious health problems and cannot reach those places physically, there is no opportunity for people to enjoy them.
, health and education are more basic aspects of our society so
that Correct word choice
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the governments
firstlyChange the word
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need to support these areas
of cultural richness.
In conclusion,
the
of
plays an essential role in our daily lives, healthcare and educational services are more directly related to our basic needs.
reason, I suggest that the governments must need to allocate abundant financial
capitalsFix the agreement mistake
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onChange preposition
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these fundamental services and invest in art afterwards.
, my position is opposite to the opinion that
publicCorrect article usage
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sector should allocate more budgets
onChange preposition
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art.