IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe the benefits of tourism outweigh the problems it creates in a particular place. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
tourism
Use synonyms
 brings more benefits than
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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. what can
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 say about it? We
haw
Verb problem
have
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 two views:
people
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 who think that
tourism
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give
Verb problem
has
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 more
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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, and others have the opposite opinion. I disagree with
point
Add an article
the point
a point
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 of view that
give
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gives
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as
Correct your spelling
us
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 more
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 than prosperity.A lot of
people
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 think like
this
Linking Words
 because they don't know how big
is
Verb problem
apply
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the impact of
tourism
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 in the economy. Most of the money in the country
made
Add a missing verb
is made
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 by
tourism
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 who think like
this
Linking Words
 see that some
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 leave the trash in the plays where they have a rest.
Ofcours
Correct your spelling
Of course
 it’s a
problem
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,but
people
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 with
this
Linking Words
 type of view don’t notice how much money tourists bring.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree with the first opinion that tours bring more benefits than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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problems
..
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.
...
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Indeed, the
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 influence of
tourism
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 is very large.and,what is
also
Linking Words
 very important, now
tourism
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dorsn’t
Correct your spelling
doesn’t
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 pollute the planet as much as it was earlier.Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 have become much more respectful to nature.
For instance
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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when we go on vacation with my family we will not pollute
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature but we will
also
Linking Words
 bring benefits to
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
.
For
Change preposition
In
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 conclusion,I want to say that time doesn't stand still,it is important to keep up with it and develop your opinion. Perhaps the second point of view was valid before, but now everything has changed.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects well to the others.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your points more clearly.
general improvement
Check your grammar and spelling to make your writing clearer.
strength
You have a clear opinion on the topic and you state it well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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