IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Homes are an imperative part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human beings life which brings
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sense of security and financial independence. Some people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
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 that renting a home is essential
however
Linking Words
, I strongly believe in the notion that
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
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 a home is
far
Correct article usage
a far
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 better choice. To commence with , having an own place
for living
Change preposition
to live
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 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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family members is a dream of many ,
fortunately
Add a comma
fortunately,
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 some people are able to achieve
this
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 with determination and dedication .They can live peacefully without any interference as they can come to their home anytime late .
Moreover
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, they can decorate their place
according to
Linking Words
 their plan on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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various occasions .
For instance
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 , in the bigger
cities
Add a comma
cities,
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 the problem of parking has been increasing for so long and having a private
house
Use synonyms
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 2 to 3 parking facilities .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , the masses will have financial stability because it is not less than an
assest
Correct your spelling
asset
assist
thus
Linking Words
 some individuals take out the equity from their houses and open a new business which will be a new source of their income . To
adding
Wrong verb form
add
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 more , in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, the premises are very exorbitant .
For instance
Linking Words
, in a survey , the price of a
detach
Change the verb form
detached
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house
Use synonyms
 in 2016 was 6,00,000$
however
Linking Words
, in 2025 it is double .Now in
this
Linking Words
 price
range
Add a comma
range,
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 a person can only afford a townhouse. It is better to invest in the property
instead
Linking Words
 of renting it
To conclude
Linking Words
, buying
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
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house
Use synonyms
 has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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tremendous benefits which
brings
Change the verb form
bring
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prosperity and peace in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
along with
Linking Words
source
Add an article
a source
the source
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 of earning and people should have a different approach in order to get
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 .

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to write clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
Use proper verb forms and pluralization, such as 'owning' instead of 'owing' and 'some people think' instead of 'some people thinks'.
task achievement
It would be helpful to add more examples and details to fully support your points.
task achievement
You have shown a clear opinion on the topic which is important in a task like this.
task achievement
Your ideas about financial stability and the potential benefits of owning a home are relevant and interesting.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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