IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pay differences in an organisation is demanding financial issue around The World providing large income to higher level executives only is a positive aspect of an organisation to but extended to you agree or disagree

The salary differences in a
company
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a demanding
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial issue all over the world providing large income to top executives only
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive aspect
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
organisation
Add an article
the organisation
an organisation
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. I completely agree with the statement and
satisfactory
Correct article usage
a satisfactory
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relation
Replace the word
relationship
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 will be provided in the upcoming paragraph.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the senior
level
Use synonyms
 management are actual executors of plans in any
company
Use synonyms
. they are highly accountable for all the activities being performed in
Use synonyms
organisation
Add an article
the organisation
an organisation
show examples
 in order to reach the goals of the
company
Use synonyms
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
well mannered
Add a hyphen
well-mannered
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 plans are initiated by the
top
Add a hyphen
top-level
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level
Use synonyms
 workers.
moreover
Linking Words
, the senior staff is equally responsible for any failure related to the companies master plans
for instance
Linking Words
are
Correct your spelling
our
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company
Use synonyms
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 not able to meet levels of achievement in the given period of time the owner of the
organisation
Use synonyms
 will end
Correct your spelling
after
afterly
Correct your spelling
up
question
Replace the word
questioning
show examples
 the senior
Secondly
Linking Words
, a large
organisation
Use synonyms
 in eeda critical
thinker
Fix the agreement mistake
thinkers
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 to plan and man is the budget senior manager control of
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
. planning various issues like financial crisis, recruiting staff, intent planning or del to by the top
level
Use synonyms
 manager
Linking Words
further more
Correct your spelling
furthermore
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 these executives are often more experience and plenty of knowledge that make them more deserving or higher salaries. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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, if
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
any
organisation
Use synonyms
 is dealing with
financial
Add an article
the financial
a financial
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 crisis, the senior managers will have to think
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
critically to plan the required amount of money
uses
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 from the actual budget. In conclusion,
whereas
Linking Words
middle
Add a hyphen
middle-level
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level
Use synonyms
 and low-
level
Use synonyms
 management contributes effortlessly
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
company
Use synonyms
 the role of
a master planners
Correct the article-noun agreement
master planners
a master planner
show examples
 cannot be overlooked. Other workers of the
organisation
Use synonyms
are undouble
Change the verb form
are undoubled
are undoubling
show examples
 be hard working but
certain
Add an article
the certain
show examples
 task can only we dial twice the top
level
Use synonyms
 manager and
finally
Linking Words
 making them and titled for greater compensation.

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task achievement
The introduction should be clearer. State your main point more directly.
coherence
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas. This will help your readers follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your ideas, such as real-world cases or statistics.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion about salary differences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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